Womxn on top.
Womxn on bottom?
Womxn on the side…

Sex positions are an interesting thing.

Once upon a time I hated being on top. My cervix was very sensitive (because I didn’t realize how much trauma it had and that it needed to be dearmoured… I just assumed EVERYONE’s cervix hurt!) Then once upon a time (not very long ago) I hated being on bottom. I couldn’t handle the lack of control I felt with another person’s body on top of me. It hurt. It was uncomfortable. I either froze, totally spaced out or demanded to change positions.

I’m leaning into and learning new ways of being though.

For me, my sexuality issues stem from a fear of surrender. I’ve seemingly always had issues with surrender. And the other day I was a little bit curious about this, so I looked up the definition of surrender and the first definition I found was, “cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.”


It’s always been portrayed as this “caving in” type of thing… like I’m giving up, giving in, being taken over.

But what if I reframed surrender?

What if surrender meant being cracked open, totally consumed by a holy flame of love and lust and desire and ecstasy?

What if it meant strength? Such a deep trust and allowance in life, my lover and the universe itself that the cosmic rapture overcomes my entire being?

What if I surrendered into conceding to my own existence? Creating room for my true radiance, a radiance I don’t even know or can comprehend, to shine and allow my brightness to flow into my lover’s heart.

What if it meant being penetrated to my core, obliviating my fear, dropping into realms unseen, moving through the veils and discovering true joy, true life, true rapture.

When we let go, we can fully live.

This is my intention.

(This artwork is a @tinamariaelena piece. All of her work is amazing. Check her out.)